Websters Defines...

“In other news from the ‘Redundant Definitions’ desk, ‘happiness’ means ‘the quality or state of being happy,’ and — oh, wait, this just in: no one finds these definitions helpful and we’ve all been fired.”

(Source: auburnpub.com)

Gaaah. Why do journalists think know one knows what professionalism means?

(Source: dailynews.co.tz)

Oh, well, that checks out as a logically sound argu— Hey! Waaaaaaait a minute.

“Sure, I could’ve just given you the important, contextual definition and you would’ve understood. But perhaps what you don’t understand is that I have to write, like, EIGHT HUNDRED words. That’s kind of a lot.”

(Source: lcsun-news.com)

The second paragraph put me to sleep. The third? Now you’re talking. Then the rest of the article is just a boring piece on the history of traffic lights.

(Source: inventorspot.com)

For example, this guy has no experience writing articles that don’t sound like a 5th grade history report and that’s why he’s not an expert journalist.

(Source: cjonline.com)

I’m assuming that by “Sports,” you mean “Rental car companies.”

(Source: thepewterplank.com)

Wait, now I have to go look up words in the dictionary myself?

(Source: lsureveille.com)

Ok, now someone explain to me what “Discreet quality” means.

Might I suggest threatening kids with sandpaper? They’ll learn about “… Courage in the face of […] danger” and learn about various grades of sandpaper grit. It’s win-win.